So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. (Matthew 18:35)

One of the themes of our lessons this morning is that of forgiveness. In looking for a good illustration of forgiveness I never found exactly what I was seeking, but did unearth this little story to share with you:

A woman bought a parrot for a pet at a flea market because it kept squawking "buy me" and it looked cute. But after she got it home the parrot was incorrigible and foul mouthed. All it did was insult her; and every time she tried to pick it up, it would peck at her arm. Well, one day she got fed up with the parrot. As it was insulting her she picked it up, and as it cursed and pecked at her arm she carried it to the kitchen. She opened the freezer door and threw him in and closed the door. From inside, she heard the parrot still going on for about 30 seconds and then it suddenly grew quiet.

Now she felt remorse. Oh no, I killed it!" she thought. She opened the door and the parrot just looked at her like it was stunned. She picked it up and it moved. She put it on her arm. Then the parrot said:

"I'm very sorry and I apologize for my bad behavior. I promise you there will be no more of that. From now on, I will be a respectful, obedient parrot." "Very well, she said. "apology accepted, you are forgiven". The parrot meekly said "Thank you". Then he said, "Can I ask you something?" She said, "Yes, What?" And the parrot looked back into the still open freezer and asked, "I just want to know: what did that poor chicken do?"

Our New Testament lesson this morning begins with Peter asking the Lord about forgiveness. "Lord, if someone keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?" Now under rabbinical law, seven times was a legal requirement — the number of times one had forgive. Afterwards it was an option in Judaism. "No, not seven times," answered Jesus, "but seventy times seven." That's 490 times: a hopelessly large number to try and keep track of.

This admonition can be very frustrating to us. Does this teaching mean that we should just forgive everyone of everything all the time? Should murderers and thieves go free? Should we allow people to be deceptive, controlling and manipulative while we stand by and do nothing to confront them? If so, are we really being responsible? Taken literally and in a vacuum, this kind of forgiveness does not seem fair. "Fair" of course is a relative term.

Some years ago Bill Cosby did a routine that featured a little satire on the American Revolution. Bill Cosby speculated what it would have been like if the war actually started like a football game with the toss of a coin between the captain of the Colonists and the captain of the British Army. After the British lost the toss, Cosby, mocking the voice of a football umpire, said , "Alright, the British have lost the toss. They get to dress their soldiers in bright red uniforms and march in a straight line in open fields. The Colonists get to wear clothing that blends in with the natural terrain and can shoot their rifles while hiding behind rocks and trees."

That hardly sounds fair. Neither does it seem fair that the professional army of the British was humbled at Yorktown by Washington's citizen soldiers to end the revolution after six long years of warfare. As they stacked arms, the surrendering British army's band played a popular tune of the day called "The World Turned Upside Down" because they couldn't believe it had actually happened.

That's how it seems when Jesus speaks of forgiveness. It doesn't seem fair. And the first point is: it isn't fair. If fairness were the issue we could never be forgiven of our own sins by God. When God forgives us, it's like the world is turned upside down. For one thing, all of Jesus' teachings on forgiveness appear to support the one who offends.

At first glance, what Jesus appears to be saying is that mean-spirited people can take advantage of us for any reason and we must stand there as if nothing happened and forgive them. But is this really his message? Are we to allow the powerful bullies of this world to rule, while we bow to them and say, "I forgive you"? No, because forgiveness does not take place in a vacuum. The man in the parable is first called to account on the debt he cannot pay and begs forgiveness that is not merited. Thus he accepts his guilt and responsibility and "throws himself on the mercy of the king."

So the second part is that there must be repentance. The debtor in the parable has acknowledged his debt and has been forgiven, not because he merited forgiveness, but out of mercy. So he must likewise forgive. There is no place for vengeance or grudges in the Christian life.

The third point is that this does not mean there is no place for discipline or justice — only that punishment must not proceed from vengeance. A child might be properly spanked for running into the street or for other grave offense, but he or she must never be spanked in anger.

Likewise in the Church we must never seek to 'get even" with people lest we not be in love and charity with our neighbor. I may or may not be reconciled with others, but it must never be that I refuse to be reconciled. It must be on their head if they are unrepentant.

Our reading from the Apocrypha picks up on this theme.

"He that revengeth shall find vengeance from the Lord, and he will surely keep his sins [in remembrance.] Forgive thy neighbour the hurt that he hath done unto thee, so shall thy sins also be forgiven when thou prayest. One man beareth hatred against another, and doth he seek pardon from the Lord? He sheweth no mercy to a man, which is like himself: and doth he ask forgiveness of his own sins? If he that is but flesh nourish hatred, who will intreat for pardon of his sins? Remember thy end, and let enmity cease; [remember] corruption and death, and abide in the commandments. Remember the commandments, and bear no malice to thy neighbour: [remember] the covenant of the Highest, and wink at ignorance. Abstain from strife, and thou shalt diminish thy sins: for a furious man will kindle strife, " (Ecclus 27:30-28:7)

Lack of forgiveness of others when they are repentant after we have been offered forgiveness by God allows us to feel morally superior and self-righteous. It is however, act of hypocrisy.

This was one of the sins of Israel. While God had provided the sacrificial system for covering over human sin, and forgave sins, Rabbinical Judaism, as it actually evolved had little room for forgiveness.

As it became more legalistic, Judaism was more and more about "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" falling back on legalisms. So when Peter asked the question as to how often he had to forgive those who sin against him, he thought he was being very generous when he followed the rabbinical law and answered his own question: and suggested that seven times was enough.

Jesus tells Peter that seventy times is not enough. He says seventy times seven, which is more than anyone could even keep track of.

Does Jesus really expect us to forgive seventy times seven — a number that is seen to be limitless? The answer is "yes." Love is not something we can withhold and still call it love. God does not withhold love regardless of how mean-spirited or irresponsible any of us have become. God always forgives if we repent. Part of loving God and loving our neighbor is extending forgives as we have been forgiven.

When we are unable to forgive others, we are not able to accept God's forgiveness. I have been in the ordained ministry for twenty years now and will soon celebrate my 15th anniversary as priest of this parish. I can tell you that the biggest issue in marriages is not sex or money, it is the inability to forgive.

The inability to forgive not only a husband or wife, but also parents and siblings, or the circumstances of childhood. Not being able to forgive these people and things means we cannot move past them.

Most of the problems in the life of every parish ultimately centers on the holding of grudges.

Once Jesus preached a message that was not received well by his listeners. Luke wrote about that occasion with these words, "When the people in the synagogue heard his message, they were filled with anger. They rose up, dragged Jesus out of town, and took him to the top of the hill on which their town was built. They meant to throw him over the cliff, but he walked through the middle of the crowd and went his way." (4:28) Jesus did not stay in that town.

This episode in Jesus' life did not suggest that his love for these people was something less than his love for the people of Bethany. Rather, they could not accept His teaching so He let them wallow in their anger and moved on. One of the ways God seems to balance justice with mercy is that when we reject Him, He allows us the free will to become the people we deserve to be. People who are always angry about something generally cannot move anywhere with their lives until they first deal with themselves. Psychologist Abraham Maslow once wrote "If a hammer is the only tool you have, you will tend to see every problem as a nail."

In the earliest days of this parish that was a common problem. We had a larger than average number of angry people — people who were angry at the Episcopal Church and could not let go of that anger. Not a healthy articulation of real theological and worship differences, but the focus of virtually everything that went on. As a result they struggled to build a happy, godly, parish because they kept finding things to be angry about, continuing the dysfunction of the church they had left and perpetuated the very spirit of rebelliousness they abhorred because they saw everything through the sins of the Episcopal Church.

"Forgive our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses of others…". "No, not seven times," Jesus answered, "but seventy times seven." Jesus was telling Peter, that as God's mercy in forgiving us is infinite, so we must be willing to forgive others.

We see God's mercy and forgiveness in the life and teaching of Christ. Jesus speaks of turning the other cheek, he allows Himself to be arrested, tried in a mockery of justice, beaten and crucified and then prays "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." Note that Jesus does not actually forgive them because they have not repented, and have not been granted the gift of faith. But He does implore the Father's mercy. Contrast this with the repentant thief on the cross. God offers His mercy, but without faith and repentance there can be no forgiveness.

Like the man in the parable who was forgiven a great debt he could never pay only to demand payment of what another owed him, we cannot truly put down the burden of our sins unless we can also forgive others.

How often does God forgive us? Whenever we confess our sins and plead the blood of Christ.

Does this erase the effects of sin? No. Forgiveness and consequences are not the same thing.

A convicted murderer can be granted absolution by the Church, forgiven by God, and also be put to death by the state without contradiction.

This is something which, in post Christian culture we cannot seem to understand.

Death itself is a consequence of the Fall — Death is the result of man's sinfulness. But death is not a punishment. It has been said that if it were not for the fact of death we could never be saved because human mortality forces us to abandon the notion that we can be our own god. How often then must we forgive others who are penitent — not some legalistic number, but as often as God forgives us.

So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.